Resilience

Spring is in the air and there is nothing more exciting or greater than changing seasons. The days are longer, the colours are brighter, and we can convince ourselves that life is not too bad.

However, if you are a survivor of COVID 19, you may see things a bit differently. When the pandemic hit, government officials and other world leaders attempted to placate us with the following statement,

“We are all in this together?”

Are we? Not really.

We are not all in one cluster together; we are different clusters spread out around the world and our situations are unique.

It is so interesting how some of us have had the ability to carry on in a positive light whereas some of us have not.

Why is that?

Resilience. Resilience to cope, resilience to deal with stress and hardship, and resilience to remain cool in the face of a disaster. Perhaps more than any other year in most of our lifespans, 2020 taxed our collective and individual resilience resources in unprecedented ways.

While many may have found refuge in their marriage or love relationships, the pandemic took a greater toll on this invaluable resource for many others.

Seemingly overnight, our entire world was turned upside down in both direct and indirect ways.

Businesses have closed, mandates to selfquarantine were imposed, and social distancing has become a way of life. Above all, the uncertainty, fear, and unknown course and duration of the virus have paralyzed much of society. However, we have survived and many of us have relied on our resilience and others of us had to learn to be resilient.

Resilience is the tool that gives people the psychological strength to cope with stress and hardship. It is not only our secret weapon, but the mental reservoir of strength that people can call on in times of need to carry them through without falling apart. People who lack resilience may become overwhelmed during difficult times.

However, the good news is, resilience can be learned, and we can emerge from tragedy emotionally stronger than ever before. What is even more amazing about resilience is that each and everyone of us has a choice to become more resilient every day and we alone are the only ones who can control it. It is important to foster healthy psychological habits that help build resilience and enable us to rise to the occasion.

These simple principles have been shown to improve our mental and physical health, and even improve our brain functioning in a lasting way. Here are just a few examples of resilience during the past twelve months.

Fostering connection: We have found small ways to feel connected to those we love by scheduling video calls or connecting by social media, “happy hour” with friends and reaching out to loved ones for support when needed.

Appreciating the good: While it was easy to focus on all that is wrong in the world, it is especially important to see the whole picture, including the good stuff. Whether by creating a gratitude journal, writing down something we have been thankful for each day, and have been thankful for what others have been doing for us.

Staying present: The practice of mindfulness has improved our mental and physical health, strengthen our immune system, and have given us a sense of peace in the present moment.

Being there for others: We have been checking in with the people we love, donated to a cause we believe in, and have found small acts of kindness Being kind to ourselves: We have noticed how we talk to ourselves, especially when stressed, and soften the language a bit.

Savouring small joys: Many of us have actually stopped to smell the roses. When we experienced a small pleasure, we have paused a bit and let it linger, while soaking up the experience.

Focusing on what is in our power: We have also reflected on how we can shift from anxious rumination to productive problem-solving

Finding meaning: Challenging times like this have offered us an opportunity for growth and meaning, and to tap into our own strengths and resiliency. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, we are turning this difficult chapter into something more profound.

Most of all, we have learned to be gentle with ourselves as we go through this challenging time. No matter how things feel right now, the darkest hour is just before the dawn.

The power of resilience is truly a remarkable trait, a trait that we can learn from and grow from, a trait we can choose, and a trait we control.

What a remarkable gift for spring.

Dr Jocelyn C. Herrett DSW MSW RSW Mental Health Clinician Walmsley