Living with Uncertainty

We are always living with uncertainty about the future. We never know for sure what we’ll find when we wake up each day. We don’t know if a calamity waits for us around the corner. We all know it’s possible to get in a car accident, get diagnosed with a terminal illness, or lose a loved one. But instead of living with constant fear, we make assumptions about the world, and one of the assumptions we make is that when we wake up in the morning, we won’t find our lives altered in a devastating way.

If we lived every day constantly focused on our vulnerability, we would find it impossible to leave the house or to let our loved ones out of our sight. Instead, we put our vincibility out of our minds, and we rarely think about it. We make the assumption that things will continue on as before, and that we and our loved ones will be safe.

The odds of a global pandemic shutting down our country, limiting our mobility, forcing us to wear masks, and keeping us from friends and family, was not something many of us thought about with any regularity.  It seemed extremely unlikely, and since there was nothing we could do about it, we put it out of our minds. This strategy is a healthy way to manage things out of our control.

We know now that the scientific community knew of the high probability of a global pandemic and were very concerned, but that didn’t necessarily trickle down to the rest of us. And now that it’s happened, it has shaken or sense of security. We’re not sure if we will ever feel safe again.

If we look at our history, a return to normal is likely, although it may take some time.  Eventually, we will find a way to tolerate the unknown again. But it takes time and we need strategies to help us through our heightened sense of our own vulnerability.

During times of uncertainty and unpredictability, it can help to adopt an attitude of acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean we have to like what’s happening, or that we resign ourselves to it, it means we stop resisting. Acceptance allows us to see things accurately so that we can move forward. Resisting reality prologues our suffering and encourages us to distort the facts. Whether it’s self-acceptance, accepting others as they are, or accepting circumstances as they are, acceptance helps us grow, learn, and move through times of uncertainty.  

In times of unpredictability, it’s common to turn to unhealthy ways to cope. Whether it’s drinking, overeating, gaming, or withdrawing, these ways of coping only prologue and intensify our suffering. it’s important to invest in yourself in healthy ways that create routine and stability. Whether it’s taking up a hobby, giving back to the community, connecting with others, exercising, or just spending peaceful time alone, making yourself a priority can move you through difficult times.

Lastly, it’s important to take stalk of your thoughts. Don’t believe everything you think. So often we fall into the trap of thinking our thoughts are facts. If I think something is happening, then it must be happening. Our thoughts are simply our thoughts. Training ourselves to monitor and manage our thoughts so that they reflect reality, not our fears and assumptions, is critical to getting through times of uncertainty.

Living with uncertainty is challenging. The reality is, we are always living with uncertainty, we just don’t focus on it until something unexpected and unpleasant happens. Although we have no control over the future, we can control how we respond, think, and behave during times of uncertainty.

Jenny DeReis, MC Psych

Walmsley EFAP