Discouraged? Look how far you've come!

We all get discouraged from time to time. Things don’t always go the way we want, goals are harder to attain than we thought, and best laid plans fall through. Many of us have learned to roll with life’s punches and recover quickly from a setback.

Sometimes discouragement is chronic, such as with Covid-19. We thought this would be behind us by now, and here we are, starting a new school year, and cases are rising in some parts of Canada and around the world. New variants keep popping up and it seems that things will never get back to normal. Our discouragement is prolonged, and with no specific end in sight it can be tough to deal with.

It can be helpful to acknowledge to yourself and others that you’re discouraged. Admitting our emotions can have a calming effect, especially if we accurately label them without exaggerating or intensifying our experience. Hearing how others feel or have felt as we do, breaks isolation and helps normalize our experience. Sharing our emotions lets us feel less alone.

The chronic uncertainty of Covid means we’re in for the long haul. Whenever we’re dealing with a goal that’s far away, it’s important to focus on progress that’s being made along the way. Realizing how far we’ve come can help build encouragement and keep discouragement to a minimum. For example, over 80% of people eligible for the vaccination in Canada have had their first dose. That’s pretty amazing! And approximately 64% are fully vaccinated. Those are huge milestones that deserve recognition.

Whenever we have a huge task ahead of us, rewarding ourselves and others along the way is crucial to keeping discouragement at bay. Reward yourself for the efforts you’ve made and take time to acknowledge and appreciate the efforts of those around you. Fostering a sense of community and togetherness helps to stay focused on the big challenges ahead.

Now that things have opened up a bit more, build fun into your daily life. Take time to appreciate the things we can do now that we took for granted before Covid such as eating out, visiting family members, and enjoying a social function, even if outdoors and with masks.

We handle discouragement better when we have small successes. Make sure you are doing tasks that are rewarding and build mastery. Look for fresh ideas and seek out opinions that might be slightly different than your own. Stretch your mind and use this as an opportunity to grow and challenge yourself. There are lessons to be learned from Covid, individually and collectively.

There are things we can do to help, and things we can do to hinder our personal and collective goals. Focus on what you have control over and let go of those which you have no control. When we focus on what we can do, our anger, judgement, and resentment is diminished.

One last way we can help ourselves with long term goals that often lead to discouragement is to journal. Sometimes we forget how far we’ve come and journaling is a wonderful way to look back and appreciate all we’ve been through and the lessons learned.

If you are feeling particularly discouraged, whether about Covid or some other area of your personal life, don’t be afraid to reach out to others. And remember, your EFAP provider is here to provide motivation, support, and encouragement as you strive to reach personal goals.

Jenny DeReis, MC Psych, RCC
Walmsley EFAP